Worried Partner,

It’s like the old saw: Put your oxygen mask on first before your child, i.e. take care of yourself before trying to help others.

Hopefully this guy will get professional help.  You are not his therapist.  There is a national suicide hotline.

You still can be in his life as a friend but you are setting yourself up if you play the role as the person he leans on for his depression and anxiety.  You cannot fix him.

If you cannot handle him walking in and out of your life when he feels up to it then you walk away to take care of yourself.

Mark