Dear Anita,

The topic of my post today is: Habit

How often we feel we don’t have control over a behavior, situation, or a feeling – but if we dig deep the root of it is habit.

I found today that It is my tendency, or habit, to always help and be involved.  I find this over the last few weeks in a few different scenarios.  I don’t find this is a bad quality, in fact it is quite good when it comes to helping others – however, it is the quality that has led me to be chronically tired, and often worn out.

-when i heard our friend had a baby, i immediately looked at my calendar over the next month to find a good date to visit.  i found it would be tough since they live a few hours ago.  when we discussed with them, they stated they have a lot of visitors this month so no rush and not to worry – come when we have the time.  How refreshing to hear! Yet…I found that my habitual behaviour to prioritize a visit over what was “convenient” for myself kicked in immediately.

-today at work I was having a great day, I finally had a moment to relax and sit and eat lunch – when I saw a bunch of people rushing to a room.  I automatically ran there to see what the fuss was about and how to help a possible patient in need.  This is ingrained in me given my profession.  When I arrived there, the problem had been taken care of.  I found that perhaps I didn’t need to drop everything and run, so to speak.  Sure in this situation it was warranted as it is the hospital – but it showed me that I ALWAYS do that.  Even if it is a friend or family member reaching out with distress, I feel it is my immediate need to help instantly!

I know I have the time and energy to look inward FIRST.  I know that most things in life do not need an immediate “drop and run” response.  I know that I can value my sanity and peace prior to jumping into an outward situation.  I know habit is at the root of a lot of this – and I am aware.