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#205905
nextsteps
Participant

Hi Pearl,

I I am sorry you have so much pressure put on you from your family.

I may Have misunderstood, and it may not be possible for you, but is there any chance you can either a) pay for your own tuition or get a loan so you can choose a course you actually like or b) carry on doing the course for your family whilst doing work experience e.g. volunteer work or work experience in your course holidays for something you actually like?

 

Also I grew up with the expectation that I had to be the best at everything and I was also compared to people I was a) very different from and b) never going to beat so it was like an unrealistic expectation which was stressful. It took me a long while to see, bbut life doesn’t have to be like that. The happiest people are the ones that are being true to themselves. Currently it doesn’t sound like your life leaves much room for that. Are there things you can do to try and be more true to your OWN goals and wishes? It may upset some members of your family but honestly honestly living  under your parents shadow of what they want for you doesn’t help anyone. Perhaps if you can show them you will be financially okay AND happy if you do a job/course you like in the future rather than the one they have chosen they will be happy for you. They may be choosing your course to give you financial security but although that helps, if you aren’t happy it won’t mean as much (from experience).

In terms of therapy there are online sites you can use and pay online e.g. seven cups of Tea, talkspace and others I am sure. There is also a website called elder wisdom circle which may help you. Also an interview by Lisa Nicholls (as 55 mins of it!) Is really inspiring.