Dear Pearl:

Your uncle pays your tuition so he felt it is right for him to choose what you study and to place this much pressure on you to get good grades, so to make his financial investment in you a good investment.

Your grandmother expresses anger at you for spending too much time (in her evaluation) with your parents because she says they don’t give you money.

It seems to me that both care more about money than about your feelings, your emotional well being. Your uncle does not understand that for the purpose of you getting good grades, for the purpose of his money being put into good use, less pressure, and maybe no pressure at all, will work better for him.

When a person feels a bit pressure, that can be helpful. Too much and a person can break. I wish your uncle understood that. Is there any way to explain that to him, any chance at all that he will understand that his financial investment will work better if he stops the pressure? Perhaps you can explain it to him in a way that is more likely to get his understanding and cooperation.

Clearly to me your most immediate need is way less pressure, as little as possible. If spending much time with your parents angers your grandmother who expresses her anger at you, for now, don’t spend much time with them. You can explain it to your parents so that they understand. I hope they understand.

anita