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Best friend is about to have a brain surgery

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • May 7, 2018 at 8:06 am #205957
    Eve
    Participant

    Hi, I am here to ask for some helps or supports regarding my fear of losing one of my best friends.

    My best friend, Abby and I know each other for more than 10 years. She is always being supportive and giving me advises on dealing with life disappointments.

    Although I am now living in another country, thanks to the internet, we are able to stay very close.

    And she is wise, kind and compassionate. I couldn’t be more fortune to be her best friend.

    Last month she had a terrible seizure episode so she was sent to ER and did MRI. The doctor found out she has a  glioblastoma on her left brain. Although it seems the tumor does not grow too fast in the last month, leaving it inside the brain is going to kill her regardless its nature.

    She is about to have a brain surgery in few hours. And now I am anxious or worry about her surgery, her recovery and the life expectancy.

    I am afraid of losing her. I tried to talk about my fear or concern with my sister but she is not really at a place to give me emotional support. And recently my partner just broke up with me (a week before Abby’s seizure episode). Now I am feeling a bit lost  despite knowing I have no control on my best friend’s surgery and we are all mortal.

    Anyone can share some thoughts to my situation would be appreciated.

    Thanks

    May 7, 2018 at 9:47 am #205967
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eve:

    I understand your concern, of course. Your friend Abby is about to have a brain surgery.

    I hope her surgery goes well and that she heals and recovers. She must be in the hospital and will be there for a while. Is there someone there with her who will contact you and let you know how she is doing?

    Or maybe personnel in the hospital that you can all and ask how she is doing?

    Please post here anytime with your thoughts, feelings, updates as you go through this stressful time. My best wishes to your friend.

    anita

    May 8, 2018 at 5:36 am #206093
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Eve,

    Is it possible to go visit her? If you do, the point is to be a help, and not a burden. Hold her hand through the procedure (sometimes the patient is actually conscious for this), stay in a hotel and be her support system at home.

    If you can’t leave, you can send care packages to her. Care packages to her friends and family at home would be wonderful too. You can also see what services the hospital has and give her a gift that way. Some cancer centers have gift shops (head scarves) and even Reiki treatments.

    It may not seem like you’re doing much, but these small things are actually immeasurable.

    And if you do lose her (lost my dad in a cancer center), at least for me, you almost feel like they’re still around. On a spiritual level, they are.

    If you don’t hear from her online as much, don’t freak out. Sometimes no news is good news. She might simply be resting and recovering.

    I agree with communicating with a contact person.

    Blessings,

    Inky

    May 16, 2018 at 11:56 am #207773
    Eve
    Participant

    Anita and Inky

    Thank you for your kind words.

    I will send her a care package to her.

    My friend’s surgery went well and she was able to get in touch with me a day after the surgery.

    Luckily the tumor was still in a rather early stage and she was got discharged from hospital today.
    She still has to undergo a series of radiation therapy in the next few months.
    I couldn’t be more fortunate to have her as my best friend and I know I have no control over her illness.
    All I can do is giving her mental support and cherishing every moment that I have with her.
    I was and am still afraid of losing her.
    Life is not fair and life is too short to live in fear.
    And life also teaches me to surrender myself to the unknown and really live at the present.
    May 17, 2018 at 2:29 am #207897
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eve:

    Good news, that her surgery was successful. I hope her planned future treatment will be successful as well. “Life is not fair and life is too short to live in fear”- I agree.

    Post again anytime.

    anita

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