Tuxbsel

Yes. It is like you say, very lonely. But not lonely in the sense that know one is around, lonely in the sense that I look at what others are doing and I see that I was once like that and now I’m not anymore. It is very hard to engage with “that world” now, like I’m seeing what others don’t seem to. And I have become so much more empathetic and compassionate, moved by the beauty of simple and small things…it’s almost overwhelming sometimes how much joy moves through me, it literally brims over the top, spilling out and I end up in tears (or at least have a deep emotional response) a lot of the time —very happy  tears. And over things that people take for granted or do not see or think to see going about a normal day. The other day I felt so grateful that I had a bed after seeing a homeless man on my way to work. I was so happy.

My sister also said something the other day…she said “I was different, behaving rudely lately.” I had done nothing to her. I guess she just sees how I’m not so excited about things people prepoccupy themselves with. Like I said I don’t see the point, my perspective is so different. This is happening, not often, but others can’t figure out why I “don’t want to play the game” is the best way I can put it. They seem uncomfortable with my content.

Apologizing for all all the typos!