Dear Laurie:

One possible reason for this Ghosting (in the title of your thread) is that he went back to his wife. He was married 20 years and separated when the two of you got closer.

A second possible reason for this ghosting is that you are about to rent an expensive apartment and have told him that you will not be able to help him financially anymore (“I told him that I wouldn’t be able to help him as much financially, because my apartment was going to be over $1,000 a month”)

When the two of you got closer, over a year ago, he was newly separated from his wife of 20 years, still visiting her often, and you were abandoned by your boyfriend at the time and your mother passed away. At the time, you were “damaged, depressed & abandoned…starved for affection”. He comforted you a great deal. He called you “honey” and “my love”. He told you that you were “the best thing that has ever happened to him”. He “always promised (you) that he’d never do something like this” (abandon you)

Back to the second possibility: you wrote that he accepted money from you “when he was hurting financially”, that you “paid for groceries for his kids”- that does read like a dire need, to feed one’s kids. But then you paid for expensive gifts for him, the $900 rifle, not a dire need. He used your money to buy “expensive pillows he got at Macys”, not a dire need.

Reads to me that the two possibilities are very likely, a combination of the two. Reads to me that you really have been used, or misused, for financial gain and that by doing so he has been cruel to you. Somehow he is able to wake up every morning and be okay with what he has done to you.

Any indications of his cruel nature before the Ghosting?

(I am wondering if his financial needs came about because and following his separation from his wife. And how the idea of having a shared bank account came about).

anita