Dear Bella:

Reads to me that he suffered/ suffers from anxiety regarding financial matters and detailed future planning. He didn’t sit down with you to talk about selling the house, about buying a new house, about wills and life insurance as well as about storing furniture because thinking and talking about these things was distressing to hm.

This is probably why and how he got bad credit: not attending to financial matters, not planning his future in detail. When he told you, “don’t worry about details and it will work out”- he told you so because this is what he tells himself. When he told you that his bad credit is not your business- although  it was your business- it was because he didn’t want to think/talk about it. He may have “left his ex wife with everything” because he didn’t want to deal with financial matters.

You recently asked him for some help and he answered that he can’t help you because he has a girlfriend. Reads to me that he wanted to hurt you so that you will stop asking for his help, so that you will feel too uncomfortable to call him for help. Do you think?

anita