Hi

So i finally told him to make a decision and i told him that whatever he decides and if he needs me to move out ill make a plan. And hes response was ” i dont need you to go anywhere, i do feel like i want to be single though but we can work towards something better but for now we can keep things the way they are”

i definitely have no idea what that means, but i do recall him having that conversation with his brother “” Its like when you get into a relationship you open yourself up more and more and then you reach a peak point and its like you reach a barrier that you cant seem to cross, its like you cant give that part of yourself. And you can keep going through this cycle, whether its with the current girlfriend or the next girl or the next girl, it will keep happening if you don’t get to the route of the problem within yourself, you just got to keep working and with time you’ll overcome that limit “. So him telling me he feels like being single but every part of his actions still shows he loves and cares for me it kind of makes sense what he was talking about that barrier where he cant seem to give that part of himself. So if we reflect back on his childhood of inconsistency, abandonment, trust issue, and being hurt time and time again by his mother, that might have caused this emotional block in his life that tells him to push her away before she hurts and abandons you.. and its probably not something hes conscious of… its comes in a form of anxiety and panic. If i remember correctly the thing that sparked this break was me mentioning all that im unhappy with in the relationship and practically told him his failling and pointed out all that he is slacking on, now if i looked at his mother and how he treated him, she use to lash out or kick him out, and punish him if he did anything wrong and sometimes he doesnt even fully understand what he did wrong because she would make stuff up or over react. Its brings peace to my heart seeing the puzzle come together and can atleast try and help him, im hoping he is willing to open up and seek for answers. I know he doesnt want me to give up on him, but he also is afraid of disappointing me and that makes him want to push me away. He knows our relationship is whats best for him, a single life is not going to bring him anywhere but take him steps back in life. Me making him feel like failure and being clingy has made him want the single life of no responsibilities nor feeling like he will disappoint or fail anyone. Hes fears losing me but pushes me away cause he thinks im going to abandon him like his mom.