Sorry that you’re struggling with never feeling good enough, Dreaming715. I can completely relate, having experienced it for most of my life.

One thing I’ve learned is that you can achieve all of your goals and STILL not feel good enough. I agree with Anita on that point. Many people think that if they can accomplish x amount of things, they will finally be good enough. But it doesn’t work. Why? Because any external validation is short-lived. Once you get what you desire or approval, you’ll enjoy it for a while… until the afterglow rubs off. Then you’re back to chasing the next goal or craving more validation.

We live in a society of “not enough”. From a young age, we learn that we should be and do xyz to be accepted and good enough. When we don’t match up to these standards, we wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” Such a conclusion is understandable because we don’t see enough people around us embracing who they are, warts and all. Even the most successful people deal with the widespread fear of rejection.

So, what does that leave you with? You already got the solution, Dreaming715—accept who you are right now. Focus on your positive qualities. Love your “defaults”. The only reason they’re considered defaults in the first place is because you believed it when society told you so. Every “default” has a positive to it, if you look for it. Let go of society’s expectations, create reasonable standards (like “Doing my best is good enough”) and validate yourself. It can be intimidating at first, but your happiness is worth it.