Very well put, Peter. I’ll need to read your post a few more times before it all sinks in.
Neil,
You are right. I never gave much thought to the difference between regret and guilt so I guess those things I listed would be considered regrets…but then each was also a choice I made that directly hurt someone too… so I don’t know. I don’t dwell on them and each has served me well, that is, left me with that important nugget of truth, so I’m okay with it all. Many people say that when they die they’ll have “no regrets” — I’m just not one of them! 🙂
Regarding parenting, I think I’m a pretty good mom. No, the truth is I know I’m a great mom. The traps I fall into as a parent are what disappoint me. And there are many. Take the cell phone trap, for example. My husband and I were both leary of cell phones back in the beginning. For the longest time we held out, but you start feeling bad that your kids are missing out on those “crucial” group text messages their friends are sending each other. So then the rationalizing starts: Well, if they were ever stranded on a diserted highway…so you give in, and then one day you realize your mistake. That’s the trap!
I totally understand the frustration you’d have by not being guided academically as a kid. I’m thinking your mom’s depression affected you more than you let on — am I wrong? Are you on good terms with your sister and other brother? (You don’t have to answer these, btw. Also, anita had posted earlier asking you a couple questions that I am so curious about too.)
B
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 