Dear Maria:

You wrote some time ago: “I have many things to say and have no idea how to say them”- well, you are saying them here, in this work of art. Thing is about work of arts is that what it means to the one looking at it is not the same as what it means to the one who created it.

When I look at this valuable creation, I see a girl, a young woman bleeding from her inside, through that private part of hers because she was raped or because she found herself in a sexual situation with a man when all she wanted was a hug. All she wanted was a hug because she was so very  lonely and so very alone for too long. She didn’t want sex, she didn’t want to be used that way. She just wanted a hug. And I think of the many, many women out there, past and present, still allowing their bodies to be used as things by selfish people, people seeing the women as things to be used, body parts to be used, more accurately. Women who want love but get sex instead.

I understand that sex can be part of love, but it is difficult to see the two co-existing somehow in harmony when one has the experience of being used that way again and again. At one point on, sex automatically feels like being used, bringing about anger, not softness.

“I just wanted some parents” means to me, that the young woman was so lonely and so alone for so long because she didn’t have loving parents. A whole lot of people, women and men, look for a parent in a romantic partner. Reminds me of a line from a Dr. Seuss book, one of those creatures in his books walking to this bigger creature or that other one and asking this one: “Are you my mother?” and then the other one: “Are you my mother?”

I wonder of course if any of what I wrote is what this art means to you, the creator. I don’t understand the title “laundry bag” and if that is an empty laundry bag there in the drawing. I do know of course that you were raped by your cousin and blamed for it by your then best friend, the cousin’s sister. And that you are very angry at both. And that you are also angry at your mother. I wish you told me more. I really do want to know more about what this means to you.

anita

Dear Maria:

“Things are getting darker and colder”- I think I feel that coldness. Is there any warmth at all for you in our communication; did you experience any feeling as you read my post to you from yesterday?

anita

Dear Maria:

I am paying attention to you.

anita