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Maria

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 20 total)
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  • #275769

    Maria
    Participant

    i meant that in more of a…”magic button” kind of way. It’s nice to get input on things but no one on here can…give me the money I need, or give me anything physical that would help. Know what I mean?

    #224999

    Maria
    Participant

    I mean, it’s something to look forward to – someone actually paying attention to my shit

    #224841

    Maria
    Participant

    The laundry bag was in reference to my previous post – the first line of it I think. The parents was, yeah, lack of a loving mother and no father in the picture.

    And the blood was, yeah, from being raped.

    Things are getting darker and colder, man.

    #223405

    Maria
    Participant

    I don’t care what the circumstances were for him- he’s a rapist and lower than trash – so is his fucking sister who was my best fucking friend but blamed me for it anyway.

     

    #221963

    Maria
    Participant

    If you’re interested, here’s the original comic it’s from

    https://www.deviantart.com/acowinthebarn/art/Cold-759442245

    #221629

    Maria
    Participant

    Well, trust me, I’ll be on and off here for awhile.

    I have many things to say and have no idea how to say them~

    #221483

    Maria
    Participant

    Just a nickname~

    …Unless you mean the title of the post. That was just playing on the fact that I use that as my nickname.

    #221475

    Maria
    Participant

    The cow thing was actually from the cousin who blamed me for my rape.

    When we were still great friends, I drew a picture with a silly cow in the background and it…sorta just stuck. Since then my username has been “acowinthebarn” because…the cow WAS in a barn in the picture. I’ve also learned to love cows since then.

     

    Also yes, everything you said was what I said but a lot more to the point and easier to read.

    #219923

    Maria
    Participant

    Fierce but terrified.

    #219797

    Maria
    Participant

    Well I wish the fear would manifest more clearly instead of making me feel like a cat backed into a corner

    #219539

    Maria
    Participant

    Yes, I’m still in touch with her.

    #219527

    Maria
    Participant

    Uh…existing and being satisfied with it, I guess? I was sheltered from the world mostly because of my controlling mother but also the luxuries being a military brat provided.

    Mom didn’t have to pay bills since she was in the military so we could afford to live in comfort (although she…was still a stickler for some reason) but now I’ve experienced the world outside of that…

    How do people even bother pretending to want to live in this shitty place?

    #219487

    Maria
    Participant

    Never had the energy to start healing. Never thought I needed to heal as much as I probably do.

    A lot of people referred to me as “strong” throughout my life so I guess…it…subconsciously made me think I didn’t need to heal? I dunno.

    But let me tell YA. It got old and frustrating. There’s nothing strong about this shit.

    I’m stubborn and persistent but I am not strong. I shouldn’t have to be strong at such a young age – I should have been having fun and being a stupid teenager. Instead I had to put up with abuse and other shit that made me age too fast but at the same time made me act like a fuckin’ 8 year old sometimes ’cause it was stolen from me when I actually was 8.

    Only reason I haven’t keeled over is because I like a challenge and I don’t like to lose it.

    #219289

    Maria
    Participant

    That is…a way I never looked at it to be honest. I mean I thought I was more or less healed but now that I think about it, I often find myself barely able to breathe ’cause the memories are just…overwhelming.

    I think I know that I’ve lost a lot, and that a lot has really hurt me

    Guess I never realized how bad it was affecting me.

    #218953

    Maria
    Participant

    I’m just a distant person – don’t take it personally.

    My relationship with her is hanging by a thread, especially after learning she lied to my father.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 20 total)