That was how I felt during the summer. The fall semester started September 5th and I am back at Ocean County College for my second year. I have been busy with school work and thinking about volunteer peer tutoring for chemistry and calculus at my college. I have to see if there are times that will fit with my schedule and give me time for my homework and Ocean Pride LGBT activities. If I have time for volunteer peer tutoring, I can get paid while working and possibly save some money for therapy appointments. Currently I am using the free counseling services at my college to help me because of limited financial resources. The good thing about this semester is that many of my teachers know about my gender identity and they have changed their attendance roster and refer to me by my preferred name: Janus. Yesterday, I also got my college ID card updated to my preferred name, so I am glad. I have a busy schedule this semester with most classes back to back on Mondays and Wednesdays. Psychology is an interesting class and I enjoy it because it is fairly easy and I like the professor’s teaching style since he also provides anecdotes that further understanding that are not in the lesson plans and this makes the class interesting because you learn something new that you didn’t expect that isn’t on the syllabus every Monday and Wednesday from 12:30pm-1:45pm. My chemistry II class is my hardest class and also most science courses come with a lab component. Chemistry II is the class that causes me the most strain as lab reports have to be completed and there are calculations that you have to perform to find ratios of elements in a solution and the like. Anatomy and physiology plus the lab are fun because biology is my favorite of the sciences which explains why I like psychology as well. I like my Anatomy and Physiology professor because he tells funny stories and relates them to Anatomy and physiology. Also my lab professor makes us conduct cool experiments and there isn’t much work involved that you have to do at home except to study the parts of an animal you may have dissected. The class that keeps me the busiest is chemistry II chemistry II lab because there are lab reports due every week and practice problems/quizzes or readings that involve scientific calculations. And the last class I am taking is Physical Geography and it is just memorizing vocab and understanding how humans impact our environment. It is very interesting and the professor makes the class easy and doesn’t give much work. I am working on trying to maintain my health and not slip into disordered eating as well as to disentangle myself from straining conversations with my parents, but it is hard. I also find that I work on a tight schedule with my school work, seeking transgender resources, looking into peer tutoring volunteer, working out and trying to be healthy. Sometimes I find myself feeling frustrated with myself because I feel like I’m not getting things done in good time and my inner critic tells me that I have poor time management skills and that I am unproductive. This can be emotionally straining at times. Here is what my schedule looks like:

My current schedule:

Mondays: Psychology from 12:30pm-1:45pm

Chemistry II from 2pm-3:15pm

Anatomy and Physiology from 5pm-7:30pm

Tuesdays: Physical Geography from 12:30-1:45pm

Wednesdays

Psychology 12:30pm-1:45pm

Chemistry II from 2pm-3:15pm

Chemistry II Lab from 6pm-7:40pm

Thursdays: Physical Geography from 12:30pm-1:45pm

Anatomy and Physiology Lab 2pm-3:40pm

No classes on Fridays.

It’s going to be a busy semester.

I was not eligible for work-study but  I can still work on college campus and reduce tuition costs. My peer tutor volunteer opportunity coordinator said that if I’m not eligible for work-study, then there may be another way I can volunteer tutor students for chemistry and calculus and earn money. I will be working hours I don’t have classes. So 8am-10:30am Mondays and Tuesdays. Wednesdays 4pm-5pm and Fridays 8am-3pm.