Passion is nice to have in life … but it is fleeting. It’s more like a drug, a short-term high with someone who is not good for you can provide quite the thrill. Getting a hit of that after a dry-spell IS intoxicating, I totally get it. But there’s more to life than that. Keep focusing on the other ways your ex made you feel. That is what I do. For every high, I had ten lows. When you feel your mind wander, go back to these lows. Journal them. When I start to look at my own situation objectively, I learn how wrong it was and how I need to work on myself (through confidence and boundaries). Take a lesson. Grow. It will take time but start on this path.

You’re not a screwed-up woman. If you are, then I am too (and I don’t think I am, I am simply a human being). I like reading what you write because I was there too. I know what you are feeling. I know how hard it is. It hurts. We deserved better than that. These seem like embarrassing, shameful things to admit because they make us vulnerable. But really they just make you human. I applaud your honesty.

As for that sex thing … I think I know what you are referring to. I’ve heard it happens a lot. When men watch porn, they get perfect presentation that doesn’t reflect reality. In my opinion, he should be thankful you even let him do that in the first place.