Dear Udayachandru:

Reads to me that you forgot what you want. You used to know, long ago when you were a child. Then you put it away from your mind and focused on what other people wanted from you.

Forgetting what we want, focusing on what others want, working for others, this is not a motivating way to live. Because there is no one focusing on what you want.

Do you remember how life was before this focus on others, or how it came about that you figured that what you want is not important?

anita

Hi Udayachandru,

While it’s clear that you are in a state of limbo in terms of emotional well-being, it’s also apparent that you are being proactive in searching for answers – and that is awesome.

It’s not uncommon to fall in to complacency and discontentment at times, but the critical thing to do is commit to improving things. If you’re on social media enough you may’ve seen the hashtag #mindsetiseverything… if you haven’t just know that it’s a popular saying because it is true. Mindset certainly is everything. Think about how you tend to be in a state of discontent – this is your mindset. So this basically means you also have the power to empower yourself to find what makes you happy! What a gift! Perhaps you need to re-discover something that has been waiting for you to find it again.

Please do your best to find mindful habits that feed your soul.

Here are some ideas that I’ve found in my research to live a fulfilling life:

1| Work on Your Emotional Well-Being

Know that your time is valuable and you are worth it. Use resources like following motivational influencers (such as Brene Brown, Tony Robbins, …) to hone in our your self-worth and self-love. Know that self esteem is absolutely critical to putting a stop to complacency.

2| Identify a Goal that has Personal Meaning 

Set goals for yourself – these can be very small – that resonate with who you are as a person. Studies show that the more goal-oriented a person is the less stagnant.

3| To Thine Own Self Be True

Sometimes life is so hectic that it’s hard to put your needs ahead of others – this is not an option. Respect your commitments but know that if you do not fill your own well, you will not have any water left to stay nourished. Translation: Living the best version of yourself will benefit everyone else as well.

4| Set and Continually Question Your Standards

Ask yourself, “Am I doing my best?” Sure you can lie to yourself but you certainly cannot fool yourself. Take conscious ownership of overcoming complacency so you won’t be able to fake it. Only you must own it – yes, Own Your Best! 🙂

5| Be Consistent and Committed

If you like routine, use that love you have for consistency to incorporate in to managing your life and your goals. Utilize resources and strategies to do what it takes to stay committed to your goal. For example, leave pictures around of your goal (make a vision board), have a friend or mentor to keep you accountable if that’s what you need and stay busy. Take care of your body as much as your mind with a healthy diet and physical exercise.

6| An Organized Mind is an Organized Life

Sometimes we don’t know where to start, what to do first and even what not to do that we become paralyzed with complacency. Look for helpful guides and checklists to not just address your goal but to declutter your life in general.

7| Remind Yourself that Life is Short

Reminding yourself of your mortality may be a little depressing but it will also light a fire under you if you truly get it. A healthy sense of urgency is an effective antidote to the complacency in really finding all of the little things that will truly make you happy – so use it. Look for ways to see the world outside of yourself by volunteering for meaningful projects or organizations that are close to your heart. Helping others is one of the best ways to bring out the best version of yourself – it’s a win, win.

Overall it may not be something in particular that makes you happy, but in the pursuit itself. So be mindful of the journey and stay forward moving, not stagnant.

All my best,

Maggie

OwnYourBest