Dear John:

That pedestal you mentioned, where you put your ex girlfriend on, that is the child viewing his mother on a pedestal, as some superior being and it is warm and cozy and safe and wonderful to worship that being on the pedestal, our mothers, or fathers, later reincarnated as a romantic love interest. It truly is a fantasy, one necessary in childhood, natural.

You are welcome and I respect your disagreeing with me. There is a song, it says: “Just one look at you, and the world’s all right with me”- sure that feeling exists as it did for you. It is just not sustainable, is what I am saying. People keep searching and searching for it as if it was a way of life.

But it is only a feeling, a fleeting feeling. It is not and cannot be a way of life. Not for your uncle, not for you or me or anyone. We can make our lives better, we can help each  other, but we can’t make fantasy a reality, not  for ourselves and not for anyone else.

anita