Anita, I understand what you’re trying to say, but I still disagree. For example, the heart activation I felt really only strongly happened when I was right next to him, like when hugging him. I COULD activate it sometimes by memory but it wouldn’t be anywhere near as strong of a feeling, and I’m not sure I could feel it now even if I tried. I’ve definitely never felt it for any of my other ex’s and not for anyone since. I don’t think it’s something you can really judge or attribute to something unless you’ve actually felt it because otherwise it’s sort of hard to understand how different it is. My ex and I also had a ridiculous amount of weird things in common and neither of us had felt a connection like that before.

Although I definitely do think that parent/child relationships have a huge impact on people that follow them into adulthood and that we do put our parents on pedestals as well when we are younger as if they can do no wrong, I just don’t believe that everything can be attributed or likened to that. It’s not quite that cut-and-dry, especially considering John and I most definitely had different upbringings (my parents both have always been and are still a very big part of my life) and yet we still seem to have had similar feelings for our ex’s. Your take does seem very Freudian, but not everyone agreed with Freud either. I think the same goes for every psychologist/psychoanalyst though. We all have our theories and they won’t all line up. It’s interesting anyway and I appreciate your take on it. I just don’t necessarily agree. Just because we put both parents and lovers on pedestals does not really mean that we put lovers on pedestals BECAUSE we put parents there previously. It correlates, but that doesn’t mean it’s the cause. Know what I mean?

Also, my word “passion” comes from Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, so that’s really his word. Just another psychological theory that may or may not be accurate. Feelings and relationships certainly are complicated.