Kkasxo,

I understand how you’re feeling, I literally said the same thing to my therapist this week, that I feel I’m not making any progress, the only slight improvement has been as a result of medication. But he says I will eventually improve. But it will be gradual and may take me a little longer than most people.

In your case however, I feel all those things you are doing as keeping you functioning, which is brilliant. But they are not necessarily what will help you heal. Acknowledging what has happened and addressing the pain is the only way to recover from it I think. So I’ll re-iterate this analogy I read before. The trauma/pain is a thorn in your arm, and you can spend your whole life trying to work around the wound and prevent anyone or anything bumping off the thorn, but that’s not a great way to live. If you pull the thorn out completely, it will be mean, but it will be short-lived and the thorn will be gone forever and the wound will heal up and no longer hurt.

There is nothing wrong with just functioning right now. I asked my therapist about reducing the medication again as lately I feel I’m not experiencing the pain enough, but he disagreed. He said the medication is just giving me a helping hand to allow the process happen in a more gradual way, letting in bits and pieces and time goes on, as and when I’m able for it.

Whatever happened in June, will have to be addressed Kkasxo, it doesn’t have to be now, it can be in time, when you’re ready, but I’m guessing it’s the only way you will eventually feel better.

In the meantime, a few slow deep breaths in the toilet often help just take the worst edge off the upset tummy. Stick to bland food too like toast or bread or crackers. You are not talking jibberish, you are feeling…….intensely. And it can be overwhelming, but it’s a natural reaction.