Merry Christmas.

So something happened, something I atleast think is big and has put me in such a foul mood these days. Alright so we were gonna talk on the Tuesday but it was late and I got tired and I am pretty sure she was looking forward talking with me on the Tuesday night, but I  let her  know I am going to sleep and she was saying she just got in, a few days later I messaged her “this time I wont be sleeping” and she put a sad face, so that’s why I think she was really looking forward to  talking to me that night, but we talked for an hour Friday night and found out she does invite people to her place, just not me because it’s “messy”. Nobody calls her on the phone either, so I let her know i’ll call her when she’s back from her trip and she said sure but I told her I was busy on Tuesday and she was working that day now so i’ll call her in Jan when I was gonna call her next, but decided Friday instead since Tuesday night my plans fell apart and could talk but it was too late for me.

So we talk on the phone and she’s got a show she is performing at just before she leaves, figure it’s only for her friends to go but find out she invited a bunch of people from my work but…not me? but we had this discussion in October and she told me in the car she wants me to come with her to her events she goes to and wants to hang out more and keep in touch with me, but  why did she not tell me to come but the others she did? am I allowed to be angry at this? am I supposed to ignore it? is she just telling me a bunch of things I wanna hear but that are not real? I got like a bazillion thoughts running through my mind about this, mostly anger because what she told me back in October. Oh and her ex for some reason was saying a few things to me while she was talking to me on the phone.

BTW she is loving her job, said it was her dream job and she is so thankful for it entering her life and meeting all these new people. She never came to the xmas party but I got SO HAMMERED! and I was the loudest person there, people still talking about that night with me but they said I behaved. Woke up the next day on the floor in the bathroom sleeping in my own puke.

So do I have a legit reason to be angry? or am I just overreacting? not being invited has really effected me the last couple days. it’s not just that, she invites people over but I can’t come over. Like what the hell?