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Let her go?

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This topic contains 478 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  anita 6 days, 17 hours ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 451 through 465 (of 479 total)
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  • #236557

    anita
    Participant

    Dear  blkhwkdwn1:

    “please call” and  a happy face  is inviting enough!  I hope  you update me with what happens next.

    anita

     

    #236743

    pete
    Participant

    Alright final update! lol.

     

    She actually text me! it felt awesome! Text me her available times, that my massage is on the house. Thanked me again for the loan and all the support as a friend and that she really appreciates me. Told her i’d rather still pay for the massage (you know, to support her and her business), that I am here for her, that I was glad she allowed me to help her out and down the road if she ever needs help again that I hope she would think of me and allow me to help her out again, that I was glad to help bring her happiness and help with the job she’s wanted for years and that I appreciate her  aswell. Then she said Thanks, to call her on the Tuesday and had a smiley face and to have a beautiful day.

     

    Also asked if I can invite her as a guest to my works Xmas party if she’s able to, she said she would like that if she isn’t working, I left her a smiley face and that I will update her. I’m sure she would love to see everyone, they are all going to her job and supporting her so it would be good to see her with us like the old times. Felt like updating some deets with you, NOW I shall disapear for a while.

    #236827

    anita
    Participant

    De!r blkhwkdwn1:

    I am glad you updated me again. I suppose you will be talking to her Tuesday next week. I hope she attends the Christmas party with you. She certainly has been and is a very important person in y our life. Till your next update, take  good care  of yourself and if I don’t read from you before Christmas, Merry Christmas!

    anita

    #266907

    pete
    Participant

    Merry Christmas.

     

    So something happened, something I atleast think is big and has put me in such a foul mood these days. Alright so we were gonna talk on the Tuesday but it was late and I got tired and I am pretty sure she was looking forward talking with me on the Tuesday night, but I  let her  know I am going to sleep and she was saying she just got in, a few days later I messaged her “this time I wont be sleeping” and she put a sad face, so that’s why I think she was really looking forward to  talking to me that night, but we talked for an hour Friday night and found out she does invite people to her place, just not me because it’s “messy”. Nobody calls her on the phone either, so I let her know i’ll call her when she’s back from her trip and she said sure but I told her I was busy on Tuesday and she was working that day now so i’ll call her in Jan when I was gonna call her next, but decided Friday instead since Tuesday night my plans fell apart and could talk but it was too late for me.

     

    So we talk on the phone and she’s got a show she is performing at just before she leaves, figure it’s only for her friends to go but find out she invited a bunch of people from my work but…not me? but we had this discussion in October and she told me in the car she wants me to come with her to her events she goes to and wants to hang out more and keep in touch with me, but  why did she not tell me to come but the others she did? am I allowed to be angry at this? am I supposed to ignore it? is she just telling me a bunch of things I wanna hear but that are not real? I got like a bazillion thoughts running through my mind about this, mostly anger because what she told me back in October. Oh and her ex for some reason was saying a few things to me while she was talking to me on the phone.

     

    BTW she is loving her job, said it was her dream job and she is so thankful for it entering her life and meeting all these new people. She never came to the xmas party but I got SO HAMMERED! and I was the loudest person there, people still talking about that night with me but they said I behaved. Woke up the next day on the floor in the bathroom sleeping in my own puke.

     

    So do I have a legit reason to be angry? or am I just overreacting? not being invited has really effected me the last couple days. it’s not just that, she invites people over but I can’t come over. Like what the hell?

    #267059

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I think you need to ask her  these two   questions:

    1. Why didn’t she invite you to that show to which she did invite your co workers?

    2. Why didn’t she invite  you to her  home, saying  it is messy, but invited others to her home?

    I would feel angry too if I was  you, not knowing  the  answers  to these  two questions.  Ask her  and let  me know what she  says, will you?

    anita

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by  anita.
    #267065

    pete
    Participant

    I dunno when I’ll talk to her next, i’ll try but I really think she just says what I wanna hear which is why nothing happens, she does not want it to happen but does not wanna make me sad or something. This has been going on for a while now.

    #267069

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    This makes me  sad, the  possibility that she will tell you what is not true because she thinks that  is what you want to hear. It doesn’t  fit  with my impression of her, of who she  is. My  understanding has been that  she is  an honest, decent woman. I am not willing to let go of this understanding because I  didn’t  read her answers.

    I am sure she is not perfect, no one  is 100% honest  all the time (nor should one  be that), but what you assume about her is that she  is dishonest, and it  doesn’t  fit. When will you talk with her then, or message her on the matter?

    anita

    #267123

    anita
    Participant

    And I forgot:  Merry Christmas to you, blkhwkdwn1 !!!

    anita

    #267155

    pete
    Participant

    I’ll text her Monday and be like “so you wanna talk on phone this week about your trip or naw?”. She also said on the phone she will give a guy a few free massages and he can take me to his business and try a few sessions to work on me as part of my payment. But I never knew how much it hurts to not get an invite from her, I feel crushed. I’ll probably let her know I’m going to start distancing myself from her and we wont be hanging out anymore. I mean this is like the 3rd time I’ve asked to hang out more and she said she wants me to come out with her, yet nothing. That kinda does mean she’s saying what I want to hear and I REALLY need to “let her go” as the thread says, I mean just read it…she goes to the pool with her friends 2 times a week, nuff said.

    #267239

    anita
    Participant

    Dear  blkhwkdwn1:

    If I had in front of me  the list of communication between the two of you, when you texted and called, what you texted and  said, when she  replied, what  she replied, then  I would be able to  have  a picture in front of me and determine if  she is ignoring you and so forth. I don’t have that, I have a little here and a little there so I don’t see the whole picture.

    But  you have that  whole  picture, I  hope. So you can figure it out, I suppose. I know she meant so much to you,  for a long, long  time. I am concerned about how you feel, how you will feel in regard to her…

    anita

    #267295

    pete
    Participant

    Well I will let her know regardless. Text her Monday and see when she’s up to talk on the phone, probably say along the lines about it being wise if we just went our seperate ways, I am sure she will be against that but I think it’s best we go our seperate ways, me acting like this is just going to be a constant thing of ups and downs, the reality is I just want us to be close like we were last year in 2017. 2018 has been pretty shitty, 2019 will likely be worse if I stayed around.

    #267301

    pete
    Participant

    Also wont she be a little annoyed always having to deal with the times I feel “hurt” She will think “Ugh not this again”.

    #267377

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I don’t understand this one part of recent events: she invited your co-workers to  a particular even but not you, did I understand it correctly? If so, how could it  be, it is rude  to exclude you and I don’t understand. If you can’t explain it to me, can you ask her when you talk to her. I would like to know. Because this  one thing points to rudeness which was never something I thought about her, being rude…?

    anita

     

    #267477

    pete
    Participant

    We talked for 40 minutes, she had to leave to pick up her daughter that moved out and check up on a cat. It was a facebook thing so that’s why I didn’t get an invite, I deleted mine but she will invite me to her next one. Talked about her trip, her concert, the invited thing part, my xmas party, she said I sound like I was the life of the party and said “ew” when I told her the next day I was sleeping on the floor in the bathroom in my own puke haha and that I should limit my beers to 4 because that’s when I felt the booze kicking in, about the loan and the guy she will do free massages for in return I check him out and it will help pay for the debt, meeting up next month for another coffee or earlier if she has free time. Told her if she ever wants to talk to me just text me and get me to call or something, like if she’s having an awful day or has great news to share or something like that, she kinda went a lower voice appreciating that saying thanks, that she doesn’t really have anyone who does this for her, she mostly just phones her mom and said I am such a great guy and I say I try to be, then wished her a great night and we hung up. It was kinda awkward for me when her voice went lower like that, like she digs me for saying that or something. She told me anytime I am thinking about her to call and we can talk, lol I think about her all the time, so that wont go over well at all…When she called I was like “Well hello there” in a lower sexy voice, she said it sounded romantic lol. I do that at work too. It still sucks she only sees me as a friend, but oh well plenty of other fish in the sea but no matter what I say here I just can’t let her go, I’ve got such an unhealthy attatchment and I know I SHOULD go for my own sanity, but ugh. I’m surprised not many people talk to her, seems everyone loves her but nobody talks to her outside of facebook, just me and her mom.

     

    I hate how I am on the phone or in person talking to her…always feel awkward and say what I mean slower bumbling my words. At work it’s SO NATURAL! and I can talk loud and clear and fine, when I am drunk I can be the life of the party so to speak, but on the phone with her or in person? nope. I know I have strong feelings for her probably due to my lonliness, but damn.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 4 days ago by  pete.
    #267481

    pete
    Participant

    Oh and by lonliness I mean I don’t have anybody I am close to, just sit around at home all day being depressed. I had my first taste of being close to another person and now that’s all I want is to be close to people, maybe not romantically but like super close friendships. Being around people that make me feel awesome!

Viewing 15 posts - 451 through 465 (of 479 total)

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