Hi Anita,

If only I could have seen how dishonest she was. I dread to think the personal things I confided in her she has told those gossips that she seems to get on so well with. It’s hard not to feel like a total idiot, though I know that I did the right thing just with the wrong person. ‘It is unwise to be honest with a dishonest person’ – good advice I wish I had earlier, thank you. Discerning who is and who isn’t trustworthy seems difficult to me at the moment, I am not good at meeting people as it is.

I am sorry to hear that you are bored with the monotony of your life too. Boredom and monotony in general is something I am coming to accept as a fact of life that just happens sometimes, you are right about the satisfaction of enduring it with dignity. I feel very proud every time I resist the thought of smoking the monotony away. The worst part for me is that I did that for so long I have no purpose or passion, the things I thought I enjoyed aren’t so entertaining when not paired with weed and the only purpose I’ve ever had is just to work and pay bills. I want more but don’t know where to start, it’s frustrating and so I’m just dragging myself through the days trying to find direction. This is what I hope to achieve from CBT and meditation/self-help, inner peace and clarity to say right, this is who I am, this is what I want and this is what I stand for.