Dear Marina:

Good, honest and single men do exist and  I hope Andre  is indeed one. The evidence so far points to  it. I hope it will work  out, him being decent  man he appears  to be, being able to stay legally  in your country (so that a relationship is possible), and regarding your anxiety, keep posting about it here, on your thread.  If you express it here and receive at least my replies every time you do post, maybe it will make it easier for you to manage your anxiety in the context of you and Andre.

Regarding your parents not getting  a  divorce because they were concerned about your (and your brother’s) future, well,  I wish they thought about your future before they argued and used abusive words toward each  other in  front of you (“they did only argue and abusive words were daily food for me and my brother”)- did they  not think that behavior was damaging  to your future.

And unlike what your parents communicated to you, you have  not and are not a bad daughter for having different opinions than theirs. You are the good kind of rebel, to have a better understanding  about life than your parents. For example, having the opinion that arguing  in front of your children is damaging  to children, then you are a good person for having that different  opinion, aren’t you.

I suppose you are living with them-  if you do, how does it feel to see them every  day, to be in their presence?

anita