My bf and I started dating almost 3 yrs ago…1st yr on/off then gradually into a relationship for 2yrs. He had met me a yr after a bad divorce where his wife was having an affair. We have gone very slow to avoid rebound but he has always been hesitant to throw himself “all in”  He’s told me before that he wouldn’t survive being hurt like that again. We have an undeniable connection and we both consider each other best friends.  In May 2018, we had an argument because he was ignoring me publicly and he just broke up.  No conversation or anything. When he came to get his things a couple weeks later, he told me he can’t give me what I need and so he didn’t see a future with me but that he adored me and I was his best friend. Then he told me for the first time that he loved me….during breakup….and he didn’t leave without coming back to kiss me about 5 times.  A month later in June, he ran into me at an event and he couldn’t keep his hands off me. He had sent me an email two days prior confessing that he missed me terribly and that he really did love me. He was back for another month and then broke up again in July saying that he made a mistake and said the same things he said during the 1st breakup.  Then in August he returned a 3rd time and told me that he didn’t see his life without me in it and that he realized he was just scared and running. He said our connection was reminiscent of his connection with his ex and he knew I wouldn’t cheat but he was triggered by our connection and was terrified of me leaving. He told me he wanted to “get me before I got him”. He promised he wouldnt break up again. An he knew he had work to do to regain trust. We were together another 3 months but it feels like he just settled in. He’s been preoccupied with work and finding another place to live.  He still spent a lot of time with me but he wasn’t “present”. So I approached him to ask if he was really here for me or if he just missed the friendship. I tried to express my needs for affection and I asked him if he was still attracted to me and all he told me was that I was making him feel uncomfortable and then he stormed out. The following two weeks I tried to get him to have a conversation and he wouldn’t. He never really “broke up” with me (man of his word!) but he’s been gone a month. I’ve still got most of his wardrobe and he refuses to see or speak to me. I’m so hurt and confused and questioning everything.  Is it possible for someone to run away from someone they really love just because they are scared?  Do they ever get their head on straight and come back? Also, I know he wants /needs his clothes so why is he leaving them with me? Is he trying to keep that door open?

• This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Krista.