I apologize for the long diatribe, but it is the only way I can paint a vivid picture of the insanity I have to live.

I am a 49 year old man, happily married with three wonderful kids.  That’s the highlight of my life.

Now for the downside.  I work for a family business I started with my father 27 years ago.  Unfortunately, my family has a multitude of issues that I can no longer accept or tolerate because of narcissistic and self centered egos.    My father is a very narcissistic individual who overcompensates for his other children (note that I will not associate myself with those individuals) downfalls.   Here’s the reality.   I am the eldest in my family of degenerates.  My mother is a former alcoholic.  She has been sober and off alcohol for over 36 years, but in reality is now addicted to pain killers for a “back problem”.  It has gotten so bad most doctors won’t prescribe it to her so she has to go to Mexico to get her “pills”   Then you have my sister who is a 46 year old unemployed alcoholic living with my mom and dad.  She clams (and my parent back up living in denial) that she is sober, but I get reports all the time about people seeing her out at the bars.   After 30 years of drinking has taken a toll on her (and everyone else) because she cannot be left alone.  When she is left alone, she goes into a bender and drinks herself into the hospital, driving up my companies insurance premiums.   One year she had, with insurance, $600,000 in claims  from 10 individual claims all related to her drinking, cause she would go to the hospital because she wasn’t feeling well and had to stay for 5-6 day stints because he levels were off.    Then you have my brother who is the biggest narcissistic self centered individual you will ever meet.   In our heyday, we had 7 different companies, generating over $100 million in revenue and growing.  My brother who had no experience in the industry, bullied his way into a leadership role and stole 1.5 million from the companies, bankrupting 6 of the 7 companies (with the only company remaining is the one I run) losing $60 million in revenue and feels it is ok and that he did nothing wrong.   Besides all of that success,  he also developed a daily liquid lunch habit.  Finally we have my youngest brother.  He gets a pass only because he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, OCD and a number of other health issues all related to my mother drinking.   However, at 36 years old is gainfully unemployed, sits on his ass all day long and does nothing and refuses to get a job.  He used to work for our company until he was found writing very  inappropriate comments on employees documents and letters being sent out and obscene things with our staff.

This holiday I had finally had it with all of them.   It started when my father wanted to pay my sister a holiday bonus (mind you, hasn’t worked for the company for over 5 years).  I explained to him that the holiday bonus is for employees who made an impact during the holiday season and a little thank you for their efforts.   He originally agreed with me, but then my sister started claiming it wasn’t fair and he came in and strong armed my CFO into paying her a holiday bonus.  Plus, since she has so many self induced health problems and issues that she either removes herself from our insurance plan and either goes on Obamacare, State Insurance fund or on Medicaid/disability.   I explained in lieu of changing insurance I would pay her a larger shareholder payout (something I am forced to pay my unemployed siblings even though they are both more than capable of working) to offset the costs.  My father put a stop to that.    My younger brother almost bankrupted all of our companies and the simple fact he was able to keep his job I am scratching my head at.   He was supposed to be in charge of national sales this year and sold NOTHING.  Rather than fire him, my father wants to buy him a company with the profits from my company?  My youngest brother I forced to go to the state and receive accommodations therefore any job he gets in the future knows he has special needs.   He obtained the certification, but now is refusing to get a job.   I tied his “shareholder pay” with keeping a part time job.   He won’t even do that.   I asked my parents for their assistance in holding THEIR children responsible and accountable, considering when they have free time on their hands they get into trouble.   So this holiday season, after 15 years of therapy and everyone telling me the same thing, I created space and didn’t attend any of their holiday celebrations.  My wife and kids went to their holiday celebration but I stayed home.   When asked, my wife responded with “he has better things to do with his time.”   This of course didn’t sit well with my parents and in typical passive aggressive fashion they went to my wife to ask what was my problem.  She explained after years of not being heard, no one responding to my cries for help, being held to a standard and everyone else has no standards and preferential treatment towards my siblings, I am done.  I am not mad, I am not sad, I am not happy, just indifferent.   My parents of course negated everything my wife said, including why they didn’t show up at all during any of my cancer treatments, my multitude of surgeries for cancer or when I was in the hospital last summer with cepsist, on the brink of mersa.   No phone calls, no visits, no inquiries, nothing.   Then the lies start with “we didn’t know he was in the hospital” (I was in for 5 days) or that “I was having treatment” (they knew about my treatment for months on end) or “I was having surgery” (it was well communicated and was on the work calendar so how did my dad not know?)  It was nothing more than lies.  They are unwilling to change their attitude or outlook on their children or hold them accountable, but are now mad at me and think I owe them an apology?   Am I crazy?
They demanded from my wife that I went to their house to have a conversation.  I am not interested in having a conversation with them at this point and last time I checked, cars and phones work two ways.

At this point, I have instructed my father to put the business up for sale so that I can move on with my life and finally create separation and have peace.  Of course now he won’t sell.  He sells the business, my siblings lose their free ride and they become his responsibility again.   I just want what I am owed so that I can move on with my life because they are so toxic and offer nothing in the way of positivity in my life.  The way I am approaching them is that if they offer nothing in the way of change or positive, then I am removing them from my life.

Help!!

Ron