Amanda M.,

So the bottom line is that your husband’s best friend Matt and your best friend Cassie have changed their behavior toward you two so that you no longer want to be friends with either of them?  Does your husband think the same way?

I too have just separated myself from my guy friend of 15 plus years after experiencing aspects of his behavior and the behavior of his wife of one year.  I want to live my life where I have people who are close to me that I trust, who are kind and authentic.

Holding onto anger is understandable since this probably feels like a betrayal to you.   You said this anger has been going on for you for two years.  I can understand that it is harder to let go if they are still in the same friends’ group.

My strategy is to cut off, avoid and distance myself from anyone I care not to be around anymore.  You don’t have to be with anyone who you don’t trust or gives you distress.  You husband may choose differently but you need not put yourself in situations that stresses you out and gets you angry.

You may want to write an angry letter to Cassie and pour out all your thoughts of betrayal, etc. and then burn it in a release ceremony.  This may be one way that will help you move on along with no more contact with her/him.

Mark