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Having an existential crisis

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  • January 15, 2019 at 7:58 am #274669
    Marki
    Participant

    Hi!
    Im going to talk about design mostly because thats the only thing i can refer to.

    Im currently studying industrial design in university. Its actually my 2nd year, but i honestly feel like giving up. I feel like teachers are trying to discourage us or something. Everyday i hear things like:

    “If you think you’ll have a life outside of design you should drop out”

    “You think this is hard? Wait until you get in the job market”

    When im in school I dont see an environment that encourages learning. Instead i see stressed students, i see anxious students, i see insecure students who constantly compare themselves, i see people who barely eat and who barely sleep. Even one of my tutor who is a freelancer looks burned out and depressed sometimes.

    Its not like i hate design. I think its interesting, i would learn it minus this whole stressful environment. The stress and the anxiety that comes with it is stopping me from getting passionate about it. So i was thinking of switching majors but i cant find anything. And i dont know if im just running away.

    Im always happier during summer when im free to do whatever I want. But the second school starts my anxiety comes back and I can have really bad anxiety. I dont have any appetite during school so i lose a lot of weight and its hard for me to gain it back. I often feel like crying because the stress is too much, like what is the point to work yourself  until you go crazy? I was neglecting my health a lot during my first year and even towards the end of my highschool days that i dont want to do it anymore, i truly dont. Id rather not work in any fields if it means i will be this stressed. For someone like me, would a job that is not stressful a better fit? Does that even exist? Or is the problem with me? Like do i just have to suck it up because thats how the world works? I wonder if im just an idealist…

    Why society things the harder you work the better it is. You pull all nighters? “Wow you are passionate and hard working and a true designer”. Meanwhile in my head i’m like “you’re stupid go sleep”. You do design all day, you work all day? “You are going to be successful keep going!!” Meanwhile me: “you are neglecting your friends, your family, your whole life, you could be travelling, experiencing new things, learning new things, is that really worth giving up on all that for your job?”

    I don’t know, maybe im an idealist or maybe i have a negative point of view because of the speech they give us as future designers. I dont even know if what im saying makes sense or if im even asking a question hahaha. I dont feel the need to be ambitious anymore, id be happy doing something simple or not working (but thats impossible we all need to earn money). I guess i find it hard to relate to society’s expectation of everyone. I dont believe in having one passion, i dont believe in doing one thing for the rest of your life to only retire and be happy then.

    I guess im wondering if people feel the same or not.
    Ps: sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. English isnt my best subjects. Also sorry if this rant was too long

    • This topic was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Marki.
    January 15, 2019 at 10:37 am #274717
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Marki:

    One of the things your teachers tell you is “You think this is hard? Wait until you get in the job market”- they mean the industrial design job market, correct?

    But notice this: your teachers are not in the industrial design job market, they are in education market, teachers at a university. Maybe when they were in the industrial design job market, or if they weren’t, when they tried to get into that market, it was very difficult for them.

    Often people who give up on succeeding in the market of their subject-matter go into teaching, be it high school or college or university. This option will be available for you too, if you graduate design.

    I read your first thread of five years ago. You were 18 then, Feb 2015.  You wrote there that you “went to a college where they give you classes in every field possible”. You studied sciences, arts, social sciences, history, math and more.

    “I went through all possible careers in my head and none, none interests me!!”, you wrote. “I’ve been taking hundreds of tests, went to career counselors”.

    You were told that you were more of a “creative girl” and you wrote that you do think that you are “more artistic than let’s say science-y”. You then thought of an art school. But you wrote that people say “you know you want to go in arts when all you do is drawing all day”, but you don’t draw all day.

    You wrote that your brother dropped out of university not knowing what he wants to do, and your parents were pressuring you to “know what I want to do right away”, and not follow your brother’s footsteps.

    You wrote that your friends told you that “If I really wanted to go in arts I wouldn’t be hesitating at all to go to that school. But I’m scared I’ll be missing something if I go. But what if I’m missing something if I don’t go?”

    My input: the issue is your anxiety. I think you got the wrong advice when you were told the above (italicized). They suggested that maybe art school was the wrong choice for you because you hesitated. But an anxious person hesitates about everything!

    Another thing you were told, that “you know you want to go in arts when all you do is drawing all day” is not true. You can go into arts even if you don’t draw all day.

    I think that no matter what the subject matter that you study, you’ll be distressed. And I suppose if you dropped out of school, following your initial relief, you’d be distressed too.

    So the anxiety needs to be attended to, maybe in quality psychotherapy, incorporating daily aerobic exercise into your day, ex. a fast long daily walk, and yoga or tai chi, practices that help a lot with anxiety.

    What do you think, and what happened with your brother since he dropped out of school more than five years ago?

    anita

     

    January 15, 2019 at 1:22 pm #274751
    Peter
    Participant

    Dear Marki

    Unfortunately its very common ‘teaching’ method to push the students to extremes, to tear them down so you can build them up….  And not everyone reacts well to that type of learning environment.

    I don’t know much about design. What is it about design that attracted you to it? Do you know anyone currently working in the field that you could talk to? I suspect that, similar to most careers, there will be aspects of a job you love, some you hate and most that you don’t spend much time thinking about either way. I also suspect the same is true for any education program.

    The trick then would be to not over emphasis the parts you don’t like, recognizing there is a time for all things, while insuring that when those parts come around that you like you allow yourself to fully enjoy them.

    In general most people will stay focused on the negative so a practice of noticing when you holding on to a negative thought longer then necessary and then developing strategy to detach yourself from that type of focus could be helpful.

    Another practice might be to avoid labeling any of the experiences good or bad… and that can be helpful however if your not skilled lead to indifference vice being able to hold the tension of reaming engaged in the experience while not attaching your sense of self to the experience. That said School is meant to be a engaging experience where you get to learn from the highs and the lows.

    Nothing you learn, even the stuff learned the hard way, will be wasted. Be kind to your self, enjoy the roller coaster. You have handled everything that has come your way so far and you will continue to do so.  There are many paths to get to were we want to go…

    I don’t know many people who ended up in the place they thought they should be… I do know many people who are very glad that that was so.

    January 16, 2019 at 8:01 am #274937
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi, Marki

    I don’t know about the field of industrial design.

    I’m a software developer. There are possibly hundreds of men in my city who want to become game developers because they feel that they are passionate about the field. These “passionate” kids seem to be oblivious to the fact that game companies make no money, they don’t know about the fact that game developers don’t get paid, nor do they know about the amount of overtime work they have to do.

    Based on your descriptions on your studies, it seems like industrial design might be a field that’s similar to a game developer’s career. Are you sure that you know what you are in for? Do you think that working in that field will give you a happy life?

    I did encounter negativity among my teachers during my studies. One of them told the students that software developers have a poor employment rate. I later learned that he was wrong. You should really research about what an industrial designer’s careers are like. Are there some who work moderate hours? Who make a decent living?

    My job isn’t stress-free. As a non-game-developer-coder, I have been able to keep my hobbies, make new friends, eat, sleep and exercise. Now I am very much happy in my job.

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