Hi Michelle,

What a powerful post you have. I know that he does value me, but I guess my way of coping is trying to look at the negatives and tell myself that he doesn’t want me or he would be at my door. He did do special things for me, and i’m grateful for those, but dwelling on all the good stuff makes me miss him more, especially since he seems to be moving backwards instead of forwards in his growth right now, maybe that’s his way of coping too? Our emotional connection was fantastic and it’s what I miss the most.  It is not easy facing a loss that is in my face every single day, but I am coping. I sometimes wonder too why AND/OR if don’t value myself enough to break away and just close the door for myself (at least for now and who knows what the future holds) and why do i want to stay? I wish I had the answer, i’m working on figuring it out. I do know that it’s not about being afraid of being alone, i’m okay at being alone and living my life doing things for me.. as a matter of fact i’m going on a trip by myself for myself this week! So i’m not sure!

I have realized that i keep letting him take my power so i’m slowly figuring out how to take that back, and in this case maybe staying silent isn’t my way of gaining power? Any thoughts are always appreciated 🙂