Dear Kkasxo:

“one time when she did come to visit a few days early and surprised me at school, I wasn’t expecting her… seeing her face, it was  one of the happiest moments in my life”- in stark contrast to being “extremely unhappy” without her.

There is no stronger attachment than a young child’s attachment to her mother. There is no safety for a child away from her mother and the feeling of safety is with her mother.

“Perhaps at that point I felt abandoned by my mum? I felt like she had left me knowing I was unhappy?”- I think so. Of course she left you the first time she left to the U.K knowing you were unhappy to be left behind, and she knew you were unhappy every time she left you back to the U.K following visiting you.

Did you ever talk with your mother about your experience in that year or year and a half.  I am thinking not much because you don’t even know if it was a year or a year and a half. I imagine your mother knows exactly how long it was but that time was never discussed?

anita