Hi Elizabeth,

I think, most of all, it’s important to be patient with yourself and the time it takes to feel better. I say give yourself at least a solid year to work through everything, possibly longer given the duration of time you two were together, but it may take even less than that. There’s no way to know, so just try not to get too upset with yourself for not being where you want to be emotionally yet. This stuff takes time, and it’s okay that you aren’t feeling 100% yet. You’ve been through a big ordeal.

It’s definitely good that your job is forcing you to be social though. Getting out and talking people has been proven to improve mood so I’m sure it’s doing you some good, even when you’d rather not interact with anyone. When I was first trying to get through my heartbreak, I’d often get out to see local bands play as much as possible because listening to live music makes me feel really good. Sometimes that would be the ONLY time I’d feel good. So if you notice that any certain activity makes you feel happy, try to do more of that, even when you don’t feel like it. And attention-wise, when you’re not ready to date yet (which is totally understandable in my opinion), just going out on the town, flirting, feeling that attention, and then going home and getting a good night’s rest works wonders. Also, fill a desire for attention in other ways, like by meeting new friends and deepening relationships with like-minded people (that you can meet if you find any hobbies you enjoy that meet in groups). I know that might not be something you feel like doing right now, and that’s okay, but it’s an idea.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Valora.