Dear Lila:

You are both very young. In certain cultures a 26 year old man is a very young man who has plenty of time to get married, while a woman at 26 is considered old enough and should-have-been-married already.

Clearly he is in no rush to get married with you, or to move to your country.

He had enough money to visit you, or would have had enough money to visit you last year, but he chose to spend his money on a trip to Bali. He is in no hurry to see you, to move to your country and/or to marry you.

You got very attached to him emotionally after being physically intimate with him. That attached you to him.

He may like you very much, love you, but he is also motivated to move to your country sometime in the future.

He pays for everything (including your airplane tickets to see him in his country?) It feels good to be paid for and people admire that, a man paying for a woman. But there may be a problem here, maybe, just maybe he feels that because he is paying for every time he sees you, that he doesn’t owe you anything. Meaning, that him paying makes it okay for him to take all the time that he wants.

“I’m just conflicted about whether I’m being too patient and understanding”- I think so, I think it may very well be the case. Sure, you are very young, but still your time is valuable! What I would do, if I was you, was ask him about the timing, tell him you need to understand his plans timewise: what and when?

Ask him online and wait for his answer. If you want, let me know his answer. You can edit it so to delete private information and paste it in your next post, or the one after and I will be glad to give you my input.

anita