Have you been to counseling at all?

I think the first step is figuring out exactly what it is that makes you feel unworthy… not on a surface level, but deeep beliefs, deep down. Why do you think you’re not worthy and what caused those? If it was caused by your relationship, exactly what aspects? What was said or done and how did it make you feel and why? You have to just ask yourself a ton of questions to get to the root causes, and then you work on changing those thoughts and beliefs. That’s where a therapist can really help because there are quite a few techniques that help do this. But it’s all about changing those beliefs.

Most of all, accept that HE thinks you’re worthy. He’s the one who gets to decide who is worthy for him, just as you are the one who gets to decide who is worthy of you. Not the other way around. So if he says those things about you, work on letting yourself believe them. He’s telling you what he sees. Allow yourself to see the same.

It seems my ex had a similar belief to you. When he broke up with me he was going through a depressive state and said he wanted to feel like he was good enough for me but he just didn’t and he felt like he was going to drag me down. What I saw in him was the complete opposite. He absolutely was more than good enough (especially when it came to the things I cared about) and he meant the world to me. We dated for 2 years, and this was eventually our downfall, so definitely work on these feelings now, before you get into a relationship, because you’re right, it could potentially sabotage it. BUT the feelings you’re having are ones that can be changed… you just have to dig deep and find the root cause.

Also, you said he’s not ready for a full-blown relationship yet anyway, so be careful to not get attached to the idea of a relationship with this man until you know he’s ready for a full-blown one. If you start assuming there will be one when he’s only said he’s not ready, it’s a sure-fire way to increase the bad feelings. So definitely best to keep your heart in check there, too.