Dear Cali Chica:

When we don’t pay attention to the here-and-now, we live in the there-and-then, we get lost in our past experience, hearing our mother’s voice going on and on about the things she did, and we answer her and defend ourselves against her and try to protect and assert ourselves against her. We get distressed yet again and numb, like we were before.

Basically, whenever being lost in thoughts, we go back there.

This is why Mindfulness is key, diverting our attention again and again to the here-and-now. When we attend to the here-and-now, we gather new emotional experiences, and these new experiences are added to our brain via neuropathways.

We can’t undo the old pathways, the mother’s voice and the resurrection, again and again, of the mother- self conflicted relationship, but we can add new experiences, new pathways, and that is the only way to heal best we can.

– in two days it will be the first month of your resolution, how is that going?

anita