Dear Anita,

It has only been about an hour, but I have pondered this, albeit while at work and not only thinking about this.  But I have pondered it.

It is an interesting concept.  I don’t find myself to be particularly insecure, low self-esteem, low confidence – yet at the core, at the true core is the reality – the false belief, the delusion that:

I believe that my life is inferior.

And that is the point, it doesn’t matter what the outside may show or the overall may show, it is those deep-rooted core beliefs that dictate how we truly feel, interact in the world, and what goes on in our minds daily.

But it is true, and there is not mystery as to why – I was fed this information my entire life from my mother.

I recall some time ago reading about a famous star, singer or such, mentioning that he/she never felt adequate even when she rose the ranks, as she was made to feel inferior her whole life.

I didn’t feel I related to this entirely.  But today I see it, that I do not believe my ownself as inferior to others, in fact I think positively of my own personality, capabilities and skills – but in contrast the core belief is there —

And thus I distract, I talk about others, I focus on others, I escape my own life.  It is true.  I notice it.

It feels I am incapable of relaxing and focusing into my own life. I instead gravitate naturally to commenting on others, uplifting others, obsessing over details in their life, sometimes helping them, sometimes helping no one, but staying occupied.  Staying occupied, escaping from my own life.