@Prash: Thank you for your advice.
@anita: I wouldn’t call it harassment. I felt like he was acting like that because of his own frustrations and because that’s how his family is too. He wants more from me and we are kind of alike. He wants me to be sociable, do things not waste my time, care about things like career and money, to want more from life to get a house to live well, to earn enough money to get everything I want and be ambitions and I don’t think I’m like that.. I mean I want to have those things but they’re too expensive and I don’t feel motivated at all. I have a job now and I earn enough so I can pay for my rent and everything with my boyfriend.
Or maybe deep down I am but my fear of people is holding me down so much, this is not a good life at all, to live in a constant fwar of people and like…. always try to be perfect and not look bad while eating, walking, not look stupid. For example if someone tries to be friendly and nice to me I feel awkward. I feel like they think I’m nice and then they’ll discover how awkward and clumsy and stupid and quiet I am. Or I try to be careful not come off as rude, mean… I just feel annoyed and frustrated.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 