Hi all,

Welcome back Michelle! I was hoping you’d bring the weather back with you! It’s gotten so cold again..

Thank you both for your kind words regarding the help I offered to the bereaved family.. I suppose it was the least I could’ve done in that situation!

I’m glad that you agree I am not being out of order about the lack of support from mr asshole – that’ll be his new name from now on. I think the close experience with death has opened up my eyes in some sense. I think I needed him around in that time more than I originally anticipated, and the lack of support has left me really bitter and questioning how I could ever possibly rely on him in times of crisis, because the reality is that I can’t. And is there really any use to walk through life hand in hand with someone who is never really going to help you in times of hardship? The reality is, life is shitty, brutal and unfair most of the time so it is so important to have someone you can really count on.

I think the last few months back in contact with him have been a very strange experience for me. It was like getting to know a new and completely different person. Not the same person I was with for so many years. There have been so many situations which I would’ve absolutely vouched that he would’ve never done that, and he has. And I think it’s all added up to be a bit of a shock that he’s turned out to be everything that I thought he was not. Quite frankly, not someone that I even like at this point… So doubts are very much setting in right now and I’m finding myself questioning why it has been such a struggle to let go of him up until this point. How much more really has to happen for me to be like okay enough is enough now?

Shelby – there will be a funeral but it is taking place abroad as the family have chosen to transport the body to the country of origin (so the poor lady can be buried with her family) so I don’t think I’m going to be able to go to that.

I took your advice and tried the communication route last night, I think at some point his defence mechanism kicked in and it was very clear the conversation couldn’t go any further. I left him today with the note of ‘I don’t think this is working right now. I think you have a lot to think about, as do I’ so that’s that.

I know what you mean about feeling less than when everyone around you is so against the idea of you two reconciling.. I know because everyone around me seems to think the same of me & my ex. Naturally, the people who love and care for you don’t want you to be hurt and let’s be honest, this guy doesn’t have a great track record of not hurting you right? However, ultimately it is YOUR decision, YOUR life and those who want to remain a part of it will have to accept your choices. Hopefully, if your relationship with him continues, with time it’ll become easier!