WCC is a role I took – to achieve – if only fleeting – that feeling of unity. To seek this love of my mother (that doesn’t exist). I see this is innate. I understand that more daily.

>To go back to the post prior, the concept that those who lacked this love from their mother (like you and I) will often go and mistreat others.

Thank you for putting your personal example, of going out there to “make the wrong right for your mother.”

This is based on loyalty. And yes my loyalty still exists.

Of course it does, as you say there is nothing as strong as the love a child has for its mother. I observe and I see many examples of this around me. Adults, fully functional, living their adult life with “bias” “loyalty” or “predilection” based on how they were raised. Of course. This is the evolvement of a human, taking that what you were taught and incorporating your own flavor.

Trouble is this loyalty of mine – I only see superficially. I see it as appeasing my mother and being a good daughter in the way my mom wanted. I don’t see that this loyalty also includes abusive behavior. I felt that my abusive behavior was my projecting my own distress. But I see now that it is more than that. It is that plus the idea that others have done my mother wrong. Everyone has. So I can’t take someone’s kindness and niceness and appreciate it.  my drive to fight as WCC takes precedence. I am unable to love another person because that space – the space that would exist. Is filled with the warrior drive. Seeking for that lost love.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Cali Chica.