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Reply To: Should I fight for him back or just let go?

HomeForumsRelationshipsShould I fight for him back or just let go?Reply To: Should I fight for him back or just let go?

#303779
JayJay
Participant

Hi Marta,

I agree with Inky!

The fact is that he keeps on texting daily that he misses me and I just do not feel like responding. I think he just wants to see if I am still there, fighting, or that I have just gave up and he loses power over me. That’s how I see it.

I call these types ‘Butterfly’ people. They rarely stay around after 6-12 months, but flutter on to the next flower.  Both sexes, I’ve seen it with females just the same.

There is a perverse side of human nature, especially in younger people, where the person who has ended the relationship wants to know if you are falling apart without them.. so you get emails and texts and, whilest it appears that they are still thinking about you, they are actually bolstering their own ego. It make them feel powerful to know that someone is missing them.
That someone is hurting. That someone is thinking about them… Even though they don’t actually want that person anymore.

I had a boyfriend once who was like this. He had already lined up his next ‘flower’ before he finished it with me. Then constantly texted to ask me if I was ok… that he missed me… that he still had my things… that he wanted to stay friends… and so on. Yet he had already moved onto his next conquest!   All he really wanted to know was that I was falling apart without him, because it made him feel powerful, and bolstered his ego.  The typical ‘guy-that-broke-a-thousand-hearts’.  I told him ‘we’ were History. He was History. The relationship was History. I wished him well and said goodbye. I never contacted him after that.

He called me a bitch for not wanting to keep in touch! But I stopped him playing his little games – with me anyway. It actually hurt a lot when he did that, but I didn’t let him know that. I simply moved on, and he got a taste of his own medicine. I don’t know if it made him a better person, but I think that was the first time he’s ever been on the receiving end of what he had dished out to the many girlfriends before me over the years. And none of his relationships had ever lasted past 12 months before he was off after his next conquest.  I think he was addicted to the thrill of the chase, and not looking for anything long lasting in the way of relationships.

So my advice is exactly what Inky said above:

Let The Stuff go and move on. Call your old guy friends. Call your girlfriends. Have a party to celebrate YOUR freedom, air and peace!

Which is exactly what I did. 🙂