Hi Katie,

There are a couple of things going on here – you must have been very excited at the prospect of meeting your cousin whom you were close to once.  Unfortunately, your excitement quickly turned to disappointment when he made a play for your other cousin.  It was very rude of him not to acknowledge you and engage in conversation with you when he had invited you.  The years have passed since you were close (age 15) and you have both changed/grown since that time.  He has changed in ways that you do not like and he has disrespected you.

Your female cousin is also disrespectful towards you.  She has no right to criticize the way you look.  If she needs to talk to your ex who has abused you then she needs more than a nose job – she needs her head examined.  It sounds to me as if she has something to prove to herself through her flirtations.

In my opinion, you don’t need to concern yourself with them both wanting your cousin – look back on your post and ask yourself “why would you want them”.  Don’t let this bother you.  This has nothing whatsoever to do with your looks.  Take my word for this.

If it is possible, I would suggest that you don’t have so much to do with this particular cousin.  Beauty means different things to different people – if it’s true that she is laughing at you behind your back then she can’t be a very nice person.  That is UGLY!  Flip your thinking on its head – they were attracted to you FIRST.

You are making the wrong connection when you say things like “I am not beautiful enough for my exes”.  They are not kind enough, loving enough, sensitive enough, respectful enough, mature enough etc. etc. etc. to be with you.  You are worth so much more.

You need to talk to someone who can help you build your self esteem/confidence/self worth.  This is the value you place upon yourself.  This is about recognizing all the good characteristics that you possess and reminding yourself of them on a daily basis.  This is about learning to love yourself.

O.K.  Got that.

Peggy