I am looking back on all of my old threads, and everything that everyone has said in the comments is true. About a year later, I feel like my crippling self-doubt and low self-esteem are more apparent than ever. I think this was the beginning stages of my journey into realizing how low my self-esteem is. At the same time, I am improving and becoming more confident.

I also want to state that I don’t think I was being realistic. The truth is, I rarely went out. I went to high school, went home, or hung out with my boyfriend. I was rarely even in social situations where guys could hit on me. I think I was comparing myself to my friends who were in social situations more often than I was. For example, my best friend had a very serious relationship similar to mine, but she had a job where she would interact with a lot of guys our age. She also was very prevalent on social media and was constantly posting pictures of herself, while I posted on Instagram 3 times a year. Obviously, she is going to get more attention.

After entering college, I was constantly in social situations… and guys did end up hitting on me. So I think I was just confused. I was being pretty self-centered… first, because I had a boyfriend, second because I expected guys to hit on me no matter what, and third because I expected to be hit on by guys without even putting myself in a situation where they could. I am still working on feeling confident without having the validation from others. It’s a process but I’m trying.