Alecsee,

Interesting that you said that the ghosts of both your past relationships are haunting both of you.  That tells me that neither of you really processed, examined or learned from them.  What was your role in why the relationship did not work.  What makes you a different person now?  What do you still need to work on?

I cannot analyze the “why” of her wanting to bail.  My take on any failed relationship is that if the relationship does not work then there is a good reason why it does not.

I am sure she is sensitive about a controlling man since I assume that her father is.  When you said that you don’t like her guy friend because HE let her drink too much, then that sounds like you are taking responsibility off of her.  I would think that is possessive and controlling attitude on your part.

From reading in between the lines, it seems you show love through the Acts Of Service love language.  You mentioned how much you did for your ex (I did so much for my ex-girlfriend and I got nothing out of it) and what you have offered to do for this girl, e.g. rent free housing, job hunting help.  That can seem like looking for Quid Pro Quo and that may have caused either/both girlfriends be leery of your offers.

Plus you said that you are not use to being ignored.  It sounds like you need a lot of attention from your girlfriends.  That’s hard for an introvert who would need space and alone time.

Regardless, who knows the real reason why she does not want to be with you anymore.  She has a troubled upbringing and as you said, ghost or a bad history.

Mark