Dear Lindsey:

We can’t help being affected by other people’s behavior, it is in our nature to react. All social animals instinctively react to the behaviors of other members of their social group. As humans capable of making choices about how we behave, we are able to pause between trigger (such as K not texting you back) and automatic reaction (texting him again, maybe angrily), and choose our behavior. In your case, according to Rule 1, you don’t initiate a text to him, if he texts you- you respond, if he doesn’t respond to your response- you don’t text him a second time.

If you make your own Rules of Behavior and stick to them, you no longer automatically react to his behavior. The more power you exercise in life- the less anxiety you experience.

anita