Hi Daniel,

I’m sorry that you have been feeling so lonely and depressed for so long.  You say that you always carry the burden of your thoughts on your back.  I am going to say that you don’t have to.  This is the choice that you are making.  Dump that burden as fast as you possibly can.  You are responsible for your own thoughts and the second you know that you can change them for the better is the second that your mood will improve.

Isolation, fear, sadness, anxiety and loneliness will ruin your whole life if you let it.  You are locking yourself away in your own little world.  If you want someone to understand you, then you need to talk to them about your inner feelings, hopes, ambitions, interests and so on.  If you really want to have deep talks then join some groups that specialize in discussing topics that you are interested in.  Guess what – women attend those groups and you might very well attract a woman who likes what you have to say.  Someone who goes beyond the shallow “let’s sleep together” mentality.

You want to live on your own away from your family – so I’m guessing that it is your family that doesn’t understand you.

Self esteem comes from loving yourself.  Self esteem comes from knowing who you are.  I’m going to say the same things to you as I said to someone else on TB.  Let me know three things that you like about yourself and three things that you enjoy doing.  Just three.  Stand in front of a mirror, full length if possible, and say to your reflection “I LOVE YOU”.

Peggy