Dear Luke:

“Both of our experiences of our parents’ marriages were of fighting and screaming matches, so we did a lot to avoid that in our relationship”- and if you succeeded then you improved on your parents’ marriages, good job by both of you.

On the other hand when she chastised you and criticized you for “not being confident enough to sing or dance like she would”- she did a bad job. You don’t encourage a person to sing and dance by criticizing them- you accept them just the way they sing and dance!

You wrote earlier that you had a meeting with her two months after the breakup and she was “dating people and sleeping with women after only two months”. In your recent post you wrote about her before the marriage to you: “She was always very confident with people and was quite promiscuous”-

– well, she was promiscuous before the marriage and after the marriage- old behaviors tend to continue.

anita