Hi Joe,

I think it’s important that you’re aware that you do this. Many years ago a friend who openly shares about her struggles in her marriage randomly expressed to me her concern that everything may not be okay in MY marriage, and she decided NOT to tell me WHY she would even think this. I was totally blind-sided and confused. Why would she think there’s something’s wrong with my marriage? Is she judging my relationship as not as good as her own? Are people in the community gossiping about this? After many hours of trying to make sense of it my husband and I came to the conclusion that she was only projecting her own unhappy marriage onto us.

But it ruined my day.

This kind of thing is dangerous because if you’re unable to keep these thoughts to yourself then you’ll hurt others and they won’t want to be around you.

B