Dear Cali Chica:

I’ll place your thoughts in two groups:

1. “I miss that time, I wanna make time for it… oh I miss my quality time with her, we had so much fun last week together- I want to schedule more soon… missing that quality time.”

2. “(husband and I don’t have full weekends).. she gets that, she never asks, it’s just in my own head.. I feel bad that she hasn’t been over, she is so good about making time and scheduling around me, I feel bad I haven’t been able to give her a whole weekend”, “I know we never will lose touch we have a strong bond..  I guess it isn’t about losing touch”.

– #1 is child CC- as well as adult CC- wanting social interactions, friendships, needing it, it being refreshing, invigorating, she comes alive when with friends. She wants more.

-#2 is child CC- as well as adult CC- afraid to lose a friend. As a child pleasant and meaningful social connection was outside the home, with friends. Not  inside the home.

The focus on the outer circle has been fueled not only because it made Mother happy, but because it made CC happy- it really was where child CC experienced pleasant and meaningful social connection- in the outer circle.

anita

-#2