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Reply To: What do you do if your ex was your best friend/closest person to you?

HomeForumsRelationshipsWhat do you do if your ex was your best friend/closest person to you?Reply To: What do you do if your ex was your best friend/closest person to you?

#314933
Annie
Participant

Anita,

1. They would constantly say/ask him questions like “does she not like us?” Because I tend to be a quiet person and I always struggled socially since most of the time I don’t know what to say, especially if I’m not close with the person. I found out about it because he told me what they said about me. The thing is, they ask him or only say them when I’m not around. My then boyfriend tells me that initially he did try to explain to them that it’s just my personality and that I’m a quiet person. But they still always ask the same questions and I guess overtime he started to be affected by what they say. They would also say things to him that I’m too clingy or that we hold hands too much. But I don’t really see it as a big deal.. I mean we are dating. And it’s always how we’ve been, we would hold hands when we’re together. We don’t make out in public so it wasn’t like we were displaying extreme PDA. But he would tell me that his friends admit that they are jealous of our relationship. (They are single so they felt jealous we were dating.) also, one of his other friend is also in a relationship but they honestly display way more PDA than we did. They would kiss in front of everyone but it’s never an issue with his other friends. They never mention about them. I just felt like they didn’t like me because I’m not the same race as them.

It hurts most because he agreed with what they say. A few months ago prior to our breakup, my was heated and angry with me because he felt like I was treating his friends like strangers. For example, there was a time when one of his friend (who’s single) was driving both my then boyfriend and I back home from his other friend’s house. My ex was dropped off first because it was closer, so it was just his friend and I in the car. We started talking about driving and me getting a car, etc. and I felt it was nice. “His friend isn’t as bad as I thought. We talked and he seems nice.” I thought to myself. (It’s one of the friend that I would say things about me when I’m not there.)  But on that day, according to my boyfriend, his friend told him that he asked me a question about my family (“how many siblings do you have?”) and his friend said that I replied with “one sister” and that was all we said, and that after that it was awkward silence. I told my ex that it wasn’t true and that he never asked me anything about my family, so I found it weird. Then after explaining to my ex, he talked to his friend again and then he told me that he actually admitted we did talk a lot that day.

2. By everyone, I mean parents, grandparents, and parents’ friends. Some of my parents’ friends would compare me to my younger sister about things like my height (which I was always insecure about) and it made me felt self conscious growing up.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Annie.