Dear cali sister:

First, what I wrote to your sister this morning: “Regarding my understanding of your sister: a long time ago, after I no longer communicated with her (June 2018 on her old thread), I realized that I was wrong about her, that I misunderstood her, having inaccurately projected my mother into her, thinking that your sister was histrionic and manipulative.

I was wrong. As you shared about her after June 2018, different scenarios, I realized I was wrong and thought about posting an apology to her on her old thread, but felt uncomfortable, embarrassed and didn’t even know if she would have welcomed a post/ an apology from me. I finally did apologize to her most recently.

What a relief to know that she is not histrionic.. there were many indications that she is not in what you shared over months and longer…There are other examples where it is clear that she has been trying hard to deal with her own distress without burdening you. Not a histrionic trait- the opposite of histrionic. Really she is honest and kind, genuine, a very good person… As I re-read her posts in her old thread it became clear to me that you too inaccurately projected what is not true. It is your mother that instilled in you the idea/ role that you have to take care of her, to get her to be social and so forth. Your care-taker family role was given to you by your mother, not by your sister. Cali sister genuinely wants you to be okay, to not be distressed by her, and good thing she can make it without your close support (or monitoring). On your part, watch that roar so it is not expressed against her. Always remove yourself from an interaction with her (take a time out) when you feel triggered.”

I will wait for your response to this before I respond to the rest of your recent post.

anita