Dear Angelgirl:

“It must be a lesson I am not learning”- as I understand it,  the lesson is that when you present yourself to selfish men as less-than, selfish men will indeed treat you as a less-than.

When you bought concert tickets months ago for this selfish man who just turned 40, and he didn’t go to the concert with you because he didn’t want to be seen with you; when you kept meeting him at your place while he kept his dating profile active and refused to date you in public; when he asked you to introduce him to Eastern European women and you kept him as a friend regardless and recently bought him a birthday gift-  you presented yourself to this selfish man as a less-than, and he in turn treated you as  if you were indeed, less than.

(A decent, not selfish man will not treat a woman as less-than just because she thinks she is and will endure that treatment)

This is what you wrote months ago and my comments:

“He probably wants someone better than me”- never again accept into your bed and your life otherwise, a man who wants someone better. And seek for yourself a decent man- a decent man is a better man than an indecent, selfish man.

“I’m not a success. Who is when they are twice divorced and childless?”- if you think of success as having fame and fortune, then plenty of people, including some celebrities are twice (or more) divorced, childless and very successful.

“If I am a lesser person as I don’t have a child, fair enough”- no, not fair at all.

“I have low self esteem”- it is difficult to  change this belief and feeling, but it is relatively easy to not act that way, and instead, to act- in the presence of a man-  as if you are as worthy as any other woman.

anita