Dear Janus, Earth Angel and Poet:

You are on winter break now till Jan 13, a three weeks break. Congrats for completing your Stem Cells and Society class and your career class with an A! And for picking up the classes you need for the Spring Semester (including Organic Chemistry, Genetics and Scientific Research classes), it will be a full-time with 14 credits and 4 main classes semester.

You learned important information from your Dec 12 phone interview by asking questions (excellent that you asked questions!) Regarding you being “self conscious of people judging me so I always feel jumpy when there is a lot of people around me”- that is a combination of your real life experience with your parents judging you, then a few people as well and then.. the big judger, that inner critic “Too Criticizing of Myself”, as says your title. So it is that inner critic aka the inner bully that does the criticism when you are in class, and you only imagine it is other people who do.

The meditation class next semester is an excellent choice, the calmer you are, the more often as you can experience calm, the better you will be able to detach yourself from that inner critic. When the inner critic tells you that you are not smart, correct that thought and say to it: I am smarter than you think I am, that’s for sure! And then, be as smart as you can be.

Regarding being asked if you are a he or a she, practice answering this question in front of the mirror and then practice it if and when asked, so it becomes a routine, in your mind: here’s the question; here’s the answer. Your answer should be short of course, and it can be something like: it’s a he, thank you for asking.

What happened in your parents’ restaurant, I think their question was not rude in intent, doesn’t read like it to me, and you answered it well. You can practice answering all kinds of questions and then deliver the practiced answer, that will lower your discomfort. Better not withdraw and isolate from people, fearing they will ask you questions. Instead, predict a series of questions on the issue and practice answering them.

“There are times when I worry that my gender dysphoria will destroy me.. it’s starting to feel emotionally straining and I feel sometimes that I’m not really living”-

– my input today on the matter of your gender dysphoria, gender identity, social transitioning, physical transitioning and anorexia:

Anorexia and the rest of the items are two separate issues: there are lots of people who suffer from anorexia who have no gender issues whatsoever, they eat, worry about gaining weight and over exercise. I bet there are people whose gender identity is different from their biological sex who are overweight and they don’t worry about it much (am I correct?)

I wish there was a way for you to separate these two issues in the context of counseling with a professional who is very familiar with issues of gender dysphoria and the before and after of physical transitioning.

anita